( The Process! )
MY LETTER
Dear Kira:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg outside of your office and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that you need a sex change. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.
Go milk a Cow,
Ave
- Mood:
amused
So, I've started to have a dislike for dolls. Not only in my competition of owning them do I feel like I'm left behind (and was told that someone got a doll specifically to stay ahead), but the money that goes towards them, not to mention, they seem to take up alot of the time I could have with Kira.
Or posting with Kira.
I should not be jealous of inanimate objects! >.<
I've considered selling them several times, but can't make myself do it. Everywhere I look, others are spending money on the dolls regularly, new outfits, new furniture, OR they are able to do it all themselves. I can do neither.
So what I am I doing in this hobby?
>.< GRAH. I love Alva and Koori and Loire and Heru and Caire-head, but for gods sake, I just don't feel like a good doll owner. And those who tell me I am, are the ones who are the ones who take the best (if not obsessive....) care of their dolls.
>.< *storms off to do her papers for her final class* I need to fucking rp already. The fact that I have to find where I need to go pay 155 dollars for a speeding ticket later today is not helping my mood either.
-----------------
Guen the zune is halfway fixed! I got her new lcd screen in, but managed to tear the ribbon for the sensors for the buttons. >.> Ordered the part, but since I can only push the left and down button and not select anything, I can't really use it much right now. *sigh*
- Location:Room
- Mood:
bitchy
Feb 7 - Interview with The Vampire - page 107 - Louis fond of Lestat mellow and a little drunk (Yaoi support)
Feb 8 - Interview with The Vampire - page 323 - Hatred is not one of the feelings he has for Lestat
Feb 15th - check out the movie the Opposite of Sex
Feb 28th - Fool (Christopher Moore) - 'They'll be wanting comedy relief between the flattery and the murders'
Feb 28th - 'My Torment, my tonic, my fever, my curse. I ache for her.'
March 2 - - Geisha - Taikomochi - male geisha
March 2nd - Geisha - While the reign of Leyasu was of structural functionalist ideal, the beginning of kabuki during that time opened the idea of camp (?) where the women dressed in male drag causing an erotic reaction in many men, and the prostituion of the women there. The yound boys that followed did not lose the eroticism, perhaps because of the influence of the women before them. Due to no taboo on homosexuality (in fact, in some places it was the prefered way of being 'masculine') these yound men fell into the same situation of the women before them. This caused the government again to switch the actors to all adult males. but I doubt that would destroy the eroticism attached to the kabuki theater, or the prostituion among the actors. It was no doubt expected for the actors to continue the tradition that way laid before them. It does seem the rigid japanese way. In fact, throughout the 1950s, and even now, the Kabuki stars seem to get alot of fame and attention, and people seem to be more than willing to be in relationships with them. Perhaps the eroticism has never left.
March 2 - But on the positive side, forcing of women of the arts from kabuki cause the geisha (artists at that point, before the name changed) to need a new way and place to perform. The development of the pleasure quarter allowed not only the women to gain the money a prostitute could, even though many of the original geisha began as prostitutes. More need for art rose as the crisis' increased. This allowed for a learned eroticism of that peaceful tea ceremony and dance taht they already valued. In fact, the artist were already seen as erotic and not the lowest (but not close to) class. The learned eroticism of just hints of their women of class under layers of clothing and glimpses of just sleeves translated into an the eroticism of glimpses of the flesh under white makeup at the nape of a neck, a slimpse of a wrist while pouring tea, of just the glimpse of a lower slip below the expensive kimono.
March 2 - The pattern seems to be, when the Japanese government does worse and can only give the hanamachi attention in seeking relief from the stress and using their company, the geisha thrive. The second the economy and Japan is doing well, ironically, however, the government is able to give more attention to the hanamachi, and their ever struggle with not only prostitution but the bluured lines of prositution but the blurred lines of prostitution that includes Geisha. Each time threatens the geisha number that drops and only surges back when the wave of issues return.
March 2 - Yuentie Tamasuke - A Taikomochi's last statement
March 2 - Lost Japan - Alex Kerr, Dogs and Demons: The fall of Modern Japan
March 2 - created by Kyoto geiko and the taikomachi - Arai Shozo homepage, also Asakuza hanamachi
March 2 - Homosexuality and Civilization - Page 4 - classic seme/uke pairing, and yaoi figuring out who is who
March 2 - Homosexuality - Tale of Achilles and Patroclus - Brad Pitt sure plays alot of homoerotic roles...
March 2 - Homosexuaity - Yaoi fans existed in 345 bc, many greek men slobbering over tales of friendships of men and implying sexual relations that did or did not exist between the lines
March 2 - Homosexuality - Achilles and Partoclus in the Illiad
- Mood:
sore
Exhausted.
I was up til 2 am with Kira, inbetween watching house and plotting story ideas.
Had to get to work by 5 am, so three hours of sleep later.........and I'm still up. I got bagggsss under my eeyyyyyyes. x.x
*dies* (But If I go to sleep, I might not get to bed tonight to get up in the morning for work tomorrow.)
- Mood:
exhausted
1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Ra
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.ph
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
You can do this also to generate your album track titles.
If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.
3 - Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days"
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesti
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Put it all together, that's your debut album.
( Specifications General First CD XD )
- Mood: amused
Rex Harrison playing the pope. XD
http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title.jsp?stid=6
Otherwise...
Number ONE!
'Gay-day' I have heard it several times now. IF you are INSULTING valentines day 'GAY DAY' does not WORK. OKAY?! *grumble* HEll, if you want to insult ANYTHING, GAY does not work for that.
Now, if you feel that valentines day is a day for homosexual men to be out and about and sexy like, and the day is all about them, then yes, yes it is gay day. If you say that the 'weekend is gay' and you are headed out to a three day gay pride (Which will be happening in columbus soon! yay!) or for some bizarre reason your weekend to you, reminds you of two men having relationships, or more broad, two men or women having a relationship, then yes. Yes it is a bizarre gay weekend.
Please keep this in mind the next time you call something 'gay', because I will find a way to find you and ask you a graphic sex question. >
Number TWO!
[link]
They are trying to take away all these marriages. It's STUPID (Taking away the marriages, not the site itself. I already signed ^^), I will not go into a rant on that, because I will not be able to stop. ^^
Just go to the site, check out the video, and sign if you agree. They have a limited amount of time to get alot of signatures.
Number THREE!
GRAMMAR. It isn't hard. -.- Especially if you are majoring in it. If you are having that much trouble with grammar while in the major, maybe you aren't meant to be there?
- Location:Watching the Agony and Ectasy
- Mood:
annoyed
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
More with pictures, later!!
*runs off giggling like a madperson*
- Location:Ohayocon 09!
- Mood:
fangirling
I have two chapters in one book to do, one in anothe rbook as well as an article to read, and one more chapter. SO, Trying to get all my homework done for the weekend is nuts. I also have to study for sociology exam tomorrow, then I have the con this weekend, I need time to pack too x.x; Then might be doing my experiment this weekend................*Deaaath*
*Sigh*
Got up early this morning to try to get stuff done too x.x
GSA is getting there! xD We have the faculty advisor, we have plans and ideas, we have the first initial meeting set up!
- Mood: annoyed
I had to go see an advisor today, and I ended up shuffled to the head of the clubs, and we'd end up with a 300 dollar funding for the club, and being able to use places to do things. x.x If anyone has any ideas of activities the club and stuff can do, let me know. For now, I'm just seeking out the other members to start the club with and see what we can do ^^;
OIGH. This is NUTS.
- Mood:
intimidated
Tv meme stolen from onegreyelephant ^^ Before I head to school xD Or rather, to get breakfast XD
1. Bold the shows you watch/used to watch.
2. Italic the shows you've seen at least one episode of.
3. Post your answers.
( Curious? )
- Mood:
busy
This is from a book The Forest and the Trees. It's an interesting thought and I can only hope it carries out. Though Divorce seems less of an issue that people reacted to. ^^ I can only hope though. It's something that seems promising. Sometimes sociology is reassuring.
(Have 6 more pages to read of this book, then an article to read and reflect in a journal on, and about 8 pages of more sociology stuff to do. (Two pages assigned, 6 pages to read in a make-up assignment which I then have to summarize and reflect on)) x.x *dead*
- Location:Living room couch, cross legged, with a laptop on tv tray XD
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:Voglio Vivrer Cosi - Andrea Bocelli
Today I have to read another chapter in Forest and the Trees, read another chapter in Understanding Movies and take notes (that takes me the longest, chapters are fucking looooong), Read a ny article and write in a journal about them, read a reading I had to have done for sociology but didn't have the book, and a second reading about the same subject that needs to be done for missing class Thurs.
*stares*
*dies*
Been like this all quarter so far. At LEAST I can squeeze personal reading in there somewhere, it's just hard to decide which one of the three books I want to read when I get that time. x.x
- Mood: busy
In the words of a south park episode...
O-BAM-A! O-BAM-A!
i think it's pretty damn sweet he was sworn in on the lincoln bible. xD
Voters, you may have pissed me off in California, denying the marriage from continuing, but thank you all of America for Obama. <3
- Mood:
pleased
- Mood:
accomplished
....what is wrong with my proffesors?! *headdesk*
EDIT~
Didn't make it to class, driver door won't close. SO, not driving in that weather up to campus with a door being held shut. Not to mention, how the hell would I get home? x.x Home today to work on homework, jewelry, and possibly watch Grey Gardens.
Tomorrow the car goes into the mechanics, so we'll see what they can do, if anything. XD
Off to finish my movie notes, and read more in depth on my sociology readings.
I had one wrong book and had to order it online x.x gah.
- Mood: bitchy
O.O PRAY FOR ME.
Sunday: Work 9-4
Monday: work: 9-4
Tuesday:
Social Psychology: 10-12
Swahili Club Meeting: 12-1ish
Sociology: 1-3
Tutoring at Academic Enrichment: 3-3:30
Swahili: 3:30-5:30
Intro to Film: 5:30-7:30
Wednesday: Work: 9-4 - possibly Swahili Club Movie Meet
Thursday:
Social Psychology: 10-12
Swahili Club Meeting: 12-1ish
Sociology: 1-3
Tutoring at Academic Enrichment: 3-3:30
Swahili: 3:30-5:30
Intro to Film: 5:30-7:30
Friday: OFF! Day with KIRA! <3
Saturday: Work: 9-4
Add in various fundraisers randomly.
I can feel the exhaustion already. *dies a little* Why did I do all of this? -.- Why two big level psych like classes with most likely expensive books? At least I don't need to buy any for Swahili...and intro to film probably won't need any...>.> I should be in bed now.
- Mood:
scared
Every fucking winter, my father sweeps through the house with the vaccuum and carpet cleaner (That is a high pitch whining all fucking night) and leaves the floor not looking any better, and damp as hell. Which means, we need to doors to the house open to let the air in to dry the floor, and guess what, it's EVERY FUCKING WINTER. WINTTTTTTTTER. WHY!
It makes no SENSE. If you KNOW you fucking need to hvae the doors open to clean the fucking floor, then do you know what you do? YOU WAIT TIL IT IS FUCKING WARM. But nooo, no we must be FREEZING OUR ASSES OFF without even a DRY FLOOR. He has tons of vacation time he could use for a WEEKEND IN THE SUMMER AND GET IT DONE, but NO. NO, we have to do it in WINTER when he's on BREAK. I appreciate the stuff they buy for us, but believe me, WE CAN LIVE WITH HIM TAKING A WEEKEND OFF.
Now everyone gets to walk about all pissy because noone is in a good mood and it will only get worse. Because it's RIDICULOUS. LACKING OF COMMON SENSE. >.< RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And now HE'S going to storm around the house like HE'S the one right, when everyone ELSE in the house DENIES it. I NEED SLEEP AND I'M NOT GOING TO GET IT. BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS GOING TO HAVE A HIGH P
TO BE IN A ROOM WITH DAMP COLD FLOOR AS I
*biiiiiiiitch*
- Mood:
pissed off
I'm gonna go lay down. x.x my head is starting to hurt.
Picture from the kids here tomorrow!
Merry Christmas
- Mood:
bored
I'm feeling better. I've taken my second anti-depressant in the last lonnnng time. I took half the night of my last entry, and a full one tonight. I looked at the bottle and I had three refills up to 8/27/08 before I'd have to see her for a new slip...
Does that tell you how far I've been off of these things? By my own damn stubborness? I'm afraid they take away my creativity. *flail* And if you research any great author, I have grounds, they were all depressed. -.- ^^;;; SO yes, doing better now hopefully, the pills will start working soon I hope.
We were supposed to go to michigan to see the grandparents today, but the weather was horrible in both places so didn't drive up. Instead, had a kind of family day at home, with alot of us sleeping away the morning out of lack of sleep before hand. I got up, packed, we decided we weren't going, unpacked, and stuck up for a little bit, then went back to sleep. And had a nightmare.
( Psychological nightmare )
Weird dream, but I've been nervous about coming out to the extended family and been putting it off for years. In a way, I'm leaning towards telling the family, I have one aunt who we know will outright deny to see me ever again because of it, but I'm also kind of afraid to. My parents are leaving it up to my decision, they don't care if I tell the people or not. We're pretty sure they have some inklings anyway. I don't really need to worry about it too much, I mean, I barely see these people, and in a way, that's a reason not to tell them, it's really none of their business, yet part of me feels they need to know. lol, it's almost like I feel I'm living an illusion, but I'm not. Ah well, I don't know when I'll see them again, so for awhile, I don't have to think about it. (Yet, I do alot.) All these gay right issues are making me more and more aware of how I let the issues slide. And my debt and stuff, I like to live in the fantasy and pretend it's not happening. I can't handle it, and when I make myself do, I end up needing anti-depressants. x.x; yagh. No wonder I'm reading so much Timothy Findley lately.
I've been trying to play alot of the sims to get my mind off of it. ^^ I just made a house, and naturally, I want it badly. *grabby hands*
- Location:Uninvited - Alanis Morissette
- Mood:
mellow
Perhaps it's a true sign of age when you truly grieve over debt. Real tears, not the crocodile ones and ask for your parents to bail you out, but force yourself to have to deal with it yourself no matter how difficult or impossible, it is at the moment and with what you have available.
Not so often with this for most people, is probably the wanting to kill yourself and knowing the only thing holding you back is knowing if you die, your parents will inherit all of your debts you have worked up and knowing they cannot afford it anymore than you can.
And a genuine fear that nothing to make the death quick and painful is available.
And along with that, a fear that, once the debt is gone, there will be nothing to stop you.
- Mood: scared
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